I'm just a lucid daydreamer.

antipahtico: Sylvie Reuter 2012

Fri, 17 May 2013 11:32:49 -0400

Sylvie Reuter 2012

This is heartbreaking. As a person who has suffered and still...

Fri, 17 May 2013 08:53:34 -0400

This is heartbreaking. As a person who has suffered and still is suffering from depression I can surely say it made me stop and watch this for such a long time. Why should anyone feel sorry for “having” depression? You don’t have depression first of all. Depression “has” you in some kinda weird way. And it’s never your fault. Never and in no fucking way. Don’t be sorry. Don’t let anyone make you apologize for feeling this way. Nobody wants depression. Nobody needs it. Nobody. With no exception. Don’t ever ever apologize.

I think it’s true that when we meet someone, they become a part of us no matter how small....

Fri, 10 May 2013 05:36:02 -0400

I think it’s true that when we meet someone, they become a part of us no matter how small. Yesterday, a friend of mine jumped off our school building, I was at school that day because of my graduation pictorial. He was suppose to graduate this year. We weren’t super close, but fate had let us cross paths because of our interest with Kpop. I never had the chance to personally talk to him, we only talked on FB.

I found out about it because of my friends, but only til later in the afternoon was his name mentioned.

Jet Tan.

His name resonated like an echo, by the many times people had repeated his name by mouth or by social media. I peeked through our building’s 12th floor window, while a friend of mine pointed where Jet jumped, and where Jet landed. I can’t count the many times the scene played over my head. The pink shirt. The ledge. The dented roof. Back first. arms spread. no hesitation. Over and over. At first I was only quiet by the news. But during the bus ride home, his name kept repeating itself over and over my head. Jet. Jet. Jet. Jet.

And that’s when I realized the emptiness I felt. The repetition of his name was evidence of the hole that he left where he had jumped and decided he just couldn’t live anymore. I wonder how many people feel the same as I do. how much more for the people who were even closer to him?Up until today, his name is scattered among tweets of both love ones and strangers, and his timeline etched with words of condolence.

Jet, you don’t know the hole you have left in so many hearts that cared for you. You are remembered, and you will be terribly missed.

We search for any evidence of ourselves in their writings, in their words. In the hopes that maybe,...

Mon, 06 May 2013 06:15:30 -0400

We search for any evidence of ourselves in their writings, in their words. In the hopes that maybe, just maybe, they think of you too.

Photo

Mon, 06 May 2013 06:06:46 -0400

Photo

Mon, 06 May 2013 06:04:59 -0400

I wonder how you’re doing.

Sat, 04 May 2013 05:17:48 -0400

I wonder how you’re doing.

lulutyyas: deep

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:13:43 -0400

lulutyyas:

deep

nerosis: Mengxi Zhang

Wed, 01 May 2013 11:31:39 -0400

nerosis:

Mengxi Zhang

Holiday red and green. ☺ #ootd #instacollage

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 05:58:22 -0500

Holiday red and green. ☺ #ootd #instacollage

Mermaid Teal! 🐬🐳🐟🐠 #ootd

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 10:00:01 -0500

Mermaid Teal! 🐬🐳🐟🐠 #ootd

Photo

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 13:31:14 -0500

After deleting my unwanted feelings/posts on my tumblr, I’ve realized that 2012 has been...

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 12:56:52 -0500

After deleting my unwanted feelings/posts on my tumblr, I’ve realized that 2012 has been either busy or boring for me. Most of my posts are more of me complaining and less of me being bright, and uh.. artistic. SO, New Year’s resolution numero uno? Be more creative! Ugh, goodluck to me.

P.S. will be deleting this post soon. I might also delete everything.

MY LIFE MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Hi,...

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 08:50:20 -0400

MY LIFE MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Hi, sfhjsdkfjhsafkjhsdfjhsfkjhdskh save me please.

Spending the 1st day of October with Chuck. Mom took this. ...

Sun, 30 Sep 2012 21:45:10 -0400

Spending the 1st day of October with Chuck. Mom took this. (Taken with Instagram)

It’s amazing how a few hours can change everything. I can’t even begin to tell you how I...

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 05:28:09 -0400

It’s amazing how a few hours can change everything. I can’t even begin to tell you how I wish time stopped at that moment. How I wish you could’ve told me, “stay here forever.” How I wish I could’ve whispered, “yes.” But we’re not in some sappy love story. We’re in real life. The real life where i’ll forever be awkward. The real life where you belong to someone else other than me. The real life where my feelings are blurted out in a corner of the world wide web. A corner that you’ll never find. My feelings you will never know. Feelings contained in a simple wish.

Ugh, please get out of my head.

So many feelings for this movie.

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 08:57:17 -0400

So many feelings for this movie.

workisnotajob: You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little...

Sat, 05 May 2012 06:33:15 -0400

workisnotajob:

You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger…

I’m not afraid anymore. :)

workisnotajob: If you do something that you know isn’t right...

Sat, 05 May 2012 06:25:51 -0400

workisnotajob:

If you do something that you know isn’t right for you - please stop.

To be your best, most inspiring and most authentic self, you have the responsibility to do what you love every day and share it with the world.

Most of my friends known that I’ve lived most of my first...

Tue, 01 May 2012 01:22:00 -0400

Most of my friends known that I’ve lived most of my first two college years with colored hair. It had started way back in 2010 when i decided to get purple highlights, and have then recolored it to teal. Well last month I made the decision to cut it all off. Eversince I’ve colored and recolored my hair to teal (and purple), I have gotten an increase in facebook friend requests and people have started to talk to me all because of my hair. I’ve even seen friends who have had their hair colored the same way as mine. It’s fine for me and all, but then it started eating up my self-confidence. The reason why I colored my hair in the first place was to build up my self-confidence. I’ve realized that the only reason why some people have taken noticed of me is because of my hair and not of my personality, or my talents. I feel as if my own hair has overshadowed me. That’s why two weeks ago I cut it.

To be honest, I felt great. I felt more compelled to do more works, plus the hassle of taking care of my hair was gone. I had no regrets. Up until people had started commenting on how I had done something so regretful. I’ve been constantly getting comments saying “Why’d you cut your hair?” “It’s such a waste.” “What did you do to your mermaid hair?!” At first I just brushed them off but then I even recieved the same comments from close people. One comment struck me was when a person said that I should’nt have cut my hair because it made me look pretty. I was heartbroken really. To think that my beauty is only amounted to how long my hair is and how wacky it’s colors are. It’s made me realize how society has messed up our standards of beauty. So this entry is to everyone who has been victimized by society’s standards. wacky hair or not. Makeup or no makeup. Fat or thin. pale or sun-kissed. Beauty is not skin-deep, nor it should be. Next time you comment on someone, think it through.

I’m learning to love myself with or without the mermaid hair.